Words

If I could dream in 10,000 words, my
tears would run as blue ink, and
I would wear the words
printed
on my sole—
let them rub away into blurry
footprints of the past.

I would not write them down, to
live my own 10 Commandements,
stricken flat the
times I fail.

Eternity should not be so hard as
words set down in stone.


(i wrote this one yesterday morning... )

Mystery

I'm reading A Tale of Two Cities right now, by Charles Dickens... and I just had to put up a quote from it which I love.

"A WONDERFUL FACT to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this."

~Book I, Chapter III, opening paragraph.

Miserable

I feel so miserable today. like those days when your feelings play catch-up to you and slam you down to the ground with the impact of their mad chase. really most unpleasant. And the funny thing is, there's so much to be happy about! We made our goal at work, which til the very last week did not seem possible, but God brought all the money in, on time for the fiscal year end. That's fantastic and wonderful!
And I have friends living with me again, which is fun... and the stress of last week is gone, and new positions are being filled at work at last, and flowers are growing, and my sister got engaged and...
and it went from a rainy day to a beautiful sunny day. but i'm miserable and my heart is in my feet and i am mentally wrapping myself up to hold myself together and to be comforted somewhat.
i hurt and grieve and its not very timely at all.
and i'm going to the dentist for the first time in what might be 5 years. yuck.
i wish there was a happy pill one could take... besides anti-depressants.